Classic April Fools Jokes - The Best Funny Jokes

A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says “I will grant each of you three wishes.”

The bear says “I wish all the bears in the forest were females.” *poof* It’s done.

The rabbit says “I wish for a motorcycle.” *poof* It’s done.

The bear says “I wish all the bears in this country were females.” *poof* It’s done.

The rabbit says “I wish for a lifetime supply of carrots back at my house.” *poof* It’s done.

The bear is thinking to himself “why is the rabbit wasting his wishes on stupid small things? oh well.” “And for my third wish, I wish that all the bears in the world were female.” *poof* It’s done.

The rabbit says “For MY last wish, I want the bear to be gay.” And he rides off on his motorcycle.

One day in the back woods of West Hollywood, a giant bear was chasing little rabbit.
“Stop running and get back here!” yelled the bear.
“Never!” shouted the rabbit.
Well as the rabbit was running he tripped on a lamp. His soft furry foot brushed the lamp and out popped a genie.
The genie noticed the frightened rabbit was being chased by the bear.
The genie said to the bear,”Hey! If you stop chasing him I’ll grant you and the rabbit both two wishes!”
The bear agreed and was so eager he jumped to go first. He said, “I wish that a had the biggest penis in the world!”
*Poof!* and his wish was granted.
The rabbit went next, “I wish I had a super fast motorcycle!”
*Poof* and the rabbit’s wish was granted.
The bear looked at the rabbit and thought, “What a lame wish!”
For his final wish, the bear smirked as he wished that all the other bears in the world were female.
*Poof* his wish was granted.
The rabbit jumped on his motorcycle, revved the engine and laughed.
Just before he booked out of there he said, “I wish the bear was gay!”

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, “Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so much better!” The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, “Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel So good!” The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up and the rabbit again says, “Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! … Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!” The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit out of the rabbit.

As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, “Lion, why did you do this?! He was merely trying to help us all!” The lion answers, “That little fucker! He makes me run around the forest like an idiot every time he’s on ecstasy!”

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab. On their first night out they find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.

The next day they find an entire field full of female rabbits. They all do what rabbits do best, and the trio sleep throughout the night.

The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.

“I’m gonna go back to that field of carrots,” says the first one.

“I’m gonna go back to those cute little girl rabbits,” says the second.

“I’m going back to the lab,” says the third. “I’m dying for a cigarette.”

A big bear and little rabbit are taking a dump side by side in the woods. The bear looks down at the rabbit and asks. “Do you have trouble with crap sticking to your fur?” The rabbit replies “no”. So the bear wipeshis butt with the rabbit.

The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Momma and Poppa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.

So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said “No, I can’t live with Poppa bear, he beats me terribly.”

“OK,” said the judge, “then you want to live with your mother, right?”

“No way!” replied baby bear, “She beats me worse than Poppa bear does.”

The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn’t quite know what to do. “Well, you have to live with someone, so is there any relatives you would like to stay with?” asked the judge.

“Yes,” answered baby bear, “my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago.”

“You’re sure she will treat you well and won’t beat you?” asked the judge.

“Oh definitely,” said baby bear, “the Chicago Bears don’t beat anybody.”

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. Two hours later they come out with a badly-beaten bear who’s yelling, OK, OK! Im a rabbit!